well i just thought that i would update this since i haven't really done much else. since yesterday, i have written 6 songs. i dont really know what inspired me....
well actually, i guess that's a lie. my dad left for new jersey to Fort Dix with the National Guard today. he's going to be going to Iraq... he'll be gone for like a year or a year and a half. im going to miss him dearly but i suppose it is something tht needs to be done and he is just the person that needs to do it. sometimes i dont really think tht it's fair... some people's parents are there for every great moment in their child's life to take pictures and make scrapbooks and to at least have the memories however mine hears about everything through estranged phone calls that dont happen often and short post cards due to a lack of knowing what to say...
sometimes i feel as if my heart is being torn out of my chest.... there is a gaping hole that i feel like i have to bandage.... have you ever felt as if you have to hold yourself together... i was sitting in my car and i had to hold my arms around my ribs b/c it felt like the gaping hole was eating away at everything else.
i figured i'd be better off writing this on here.... people will actually read it. i dont know what a best friend is anymore.... maybe ill meet some new ones in college.....
i only have 2 right now... my boyfriend and *yusuke-love*.
well thanks for listening.. reading... commenting... w/e you're going to do....

bye